


Party like it's the end of the world (and if we keep this up, it just might be)

by idioticfangirl



Series: The Avengers Team-Building Shenanigans [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Everyone Is Alive, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, M/M, Party, Pietro is alive, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Stony - Freeform, Team Bonding, Team Building, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 13:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4021621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idioticfangirl/pseuds/idioticfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers have to host a party.  Read on for drunk dancing, drinking games, flirting, and Steve failing to keep anything under some vague sense of control.  Really, it's everything you'd expect for an Avengers party.</p><p>Orange_Coyote asked me if I was planning on doing this fic, and suddenly I had all of the ideas in my head, so thank you!<br/>Also, it looks like there's going to be a lot more of these, seeing as me and my friends were like oh my god rounders oh my god shopping oh my god oh my god so yeah stay tuned</p>
            </blockquote>





	Party like it's the end of the world (and if we keep this up, it just might be)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Orange_Coyote](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orange_Coyote/gifts).
  * Translation into Tiếng Việt available: [Tiệc tùng như thể sắp tận thế (và nếu chúng ta cứ tiếp tục, có khi lại thế thật)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7493022) by [idioticfangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idioticfangirl/pseuds/idioticfangirl), [TheLazyKat9x](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLazyKat9x/pseuds/TheLazyKat9x)



"Fury wasn't kidding," Steve announced, striding into Tony's workshop with a purpose, and a piece of paper fluttering in his right hand.

"Uh, really? That's, that's great," distracted, Tony flapped a free hand in the air to convey that he had heard the news, and then hastily replaced it on the shield he was designing as he remembered that it was not, in fact, a free hand. He risked a glance up at Steve, and, seeing his face, furiously backpedaled. "I mean, that's terrible, what are we going to do now, I can't believe it," he gave up on the shield and twisted to Steve, "about what, Cap? I know I know pretty much everything, but I can't read minds, so will you please explain why you came bursting in here with some cryptic message? 'Cause I'm a busy man."

"The party," Steve replied, shoving the piece of paper in Tony's face.

For a second, Tony was distracted by the fact that they had received a letter, "Hasn't he ever heard of text messages?" he wondered aloud, but stopped when he saw the faint blush on Steve's cheeks and focused on the matter at hand, "We have to host a party?"

"Well, technically speaking, you do. Tomorrow night. That's the guest list."

Tony groaned, briefly debating whether burning down the tower would be worth it to prevent the party, and groaned again when he remembered all of the paperwork involved in burning things.

"Tony?" He jumped when he felt a large hand on his shoulder, and when he looked up Steve's face was close to his, his blue eyes peering concernedly at him. "Are you okay? If you're ill or anything we don't have to do it, or I'll arrange everything, Bruce will help." Normally Tony would have played up receiving pity, especially from Steve, but the look of earnest concern on his face presented him from continuing to complain, and he settled for saying,

"Don't worry, I'm fine."

"But I do worry about you. I - uh - I worry about the others too, but I care about you." The emphasis that he put on care left no doubt in Tony's mind as to what he meant, and Tony decided that he would deal with that after he got ready for the party (read: sleep for 20 hours).

He got as far as the door before he was stopped by a, "Wait, Tony?" Steve was leaning over the shield he had been working on, "What's this?"

"It's an idea."

"It's a shield."

"A prototype for a shield, actually. It's for you. It's stronger, lighter, it can be tracked. It should keep you safe."

"My current shield works just fine, Tony."

"You were taken into medical with 12 bullet wounds, 5 broken ribs, both lungs pierced and a smashed skull," it wasn't like Tony had read the medical profile a hundred times, fingering it nervously as he perched in the uncomfortable chair outside the room, waiting to be told any news, calculating and re-calculating the chances of survival, "you nearly died, Cap. Now I can't protect you, or heal you, but I sure as hell can make sure that everything you've got is as good as it can be. What, Steve," he took in Steve's shocked expression, "did you really think that you were the only one who worried?" With a wry smile, he slipped out of the room, leaving Steve stroking the shield in wonder.

 

 

The next night, having bought copious amounts of alcohol and 'nibbles', they were ready. Well, sorta.

The men had been forced into suits, quite literally with Clint as Natasha had had enough of his shit and held him down while she jammed it over his head. Wanda and Natasha had been given dresses, dark red for Wanda and black for Natasha, that showed off both their cleavage and how deadly they could be, because that was the only type of dress that Natasha would wear and Wanda was learning fast. It was her and Pietro's first proper party, so she was slightly intimidated by all the preparations and the sheer number of people that would be coming, but Clint had decided that it was his duty to teach Pietro what a proper party was like, which seemed to involve far more alcohol than was strictly necessary.

Bucky had been sent into a different room, left with dominos pizza, cookies and 'Deal or No Deal', his favourite part of the 21st century, and was honestly probably happier than those actually going to the party. There had been talk of leaving Bruce in there with him, but Bruce had promised to be good.

When Steve asked why Bruce was so desperate to go to the party, considering he normally hated them, it was revealed that all of the Avengers except him were having a competition as to who could scare the most people. 

Steve already looked done with all of them and the party hadn't even started yet.

A few hours later, the party was in full swing. Steve was talking to someone, the manager of some law firm or something, he didn't really remember. He nodded and raised his eyebrows and laughed at the right intervals, but in actual fact spent the entire conversation on the look out for the other Avengers. Coulson had been sent by Fury, with a message from Nick that read 'I'm too busy for your party fuck you Stark', to watch over them, but the second that Thor had started drinking and challenging people to a fight he had given up and grabbed a drink. There was a pleasant buzz in Steve's head, caused by Thor's mead, which threatened to become less pleasant if he drunk much more of it, so he grabbed a glass of champagne from the nearest waiter - Tony had proposed getting his bots to be waiters, but when Dummy had thrown an entire tray of cocktails at Clint that idea had been scrapped - and sipped on it as he continued not to pay attention to the guest. She seemed to notice that he wasn't interested, and opened her mouth in a way that indicated Steve was going to get berated for it, so he quickly grabbed her wrist and led her over to the sofa in the corner, where Tony was nursing a large drink and steadfastly ignoring everyone.

"This is Tony. Tony, this is, uh,"

"Mary."

Steve quickly took the drink from Tony's grasp, told him to play nice, and left him to Mary's story about the hilariousness that ensued at the coffee shop, or something like that. 

The next person he decided to check up on was Natasha. She was in the middle, dancing with a man who looked in equal parts excited and terrified. Steve stopped to watch, surprised that the guy hadn't been killed yet, when the music changed and she released him. He stumbled back to his friends, grabbing a drink and downing it, while they patted him on the back and congratulated him. Another man walked over to Natasha and began to dance with her, before putting one hand on her butt and another on her left boob. In a smooth, flowing motion, Natasha kicked him in the shin, kneed him in the groin, and flipped him over her shoulder. She pointed at a corner of the room, smirking, and he limped over. On closer inspection, that corner contained a lot of men with bruises and rips on various places.

"All the ones stupid enough to make a pass on me," Natasha purred in his ear, pulling him onto the dance floor as she arranged his hands so that they could dance.

"What if I do?" he teased, trying to ignore the blush that he knew was creeping up his neck, and the thoughts of Tony that were now invading his brain as he surreptitiously made sure Stark wasn't watching. Not that Tony would care. Not that Tony had to care. Not that - damn it.

"Then you'd better watch it, mister," she smiled back. Everyone was watching them, the dangerous couple in the middle of the dance floor that could probably kill each other but instead were laughing at each other.

"So, do you dance with anyone?" Steve asked, hoping to distract himself until the song was over and he could escape to the relative safety of - he looked for someone that wasn't drunk - Bruce.

"Anyone who dares to ask deserves a dance in my book," Natasha replied, doing a final twirl as the song changed and Steve was released. He noticed Tony watching them, and without thinking changed course so that he ended up standing beside him.

"That wasn't very graceful," Tony pointed out, slightly petulantly.

"I wasn't expecting it. She grabbed me and pulled me in. I didn't ask her to dance."

Tony laughed into his drink, muttering, "You don't have to explain yourself to me, Cap."

Before Steve could find something to say in response, he heard a scream from somewhere else in the room and made his way over there, muttering excuses to Stark as he went.

Bruce was grinning, his book lying on the sofa as he leaned over, clutching his stomach as he convulsed into raucous laughter.

"What the hell, man?" A guy was saying, as he turned. He bumped straight into Steve, muttering angry curses until he realized who Steve was.

"What happened?" Steve asked.

"He growled at me!" The guy replied, taking one look back at Bruce before legging it to a safer place.

Steve's face twisted in confusion, before he remembered the game that they were playing to try and scare people.

"Don't give anyone a heart attack," he rolled his eyes as he walked off.

"No promises!" Bruce called after him.

As he walked past the dance floor, Steve saw that Clint and Natasha were now dancing. He stopped to watch, entranced by the fluidity and deadliness of it, legs spinning as they twirled and did stuff that didn't even look legal. It was beautiful, and Steve wondered how stupid he must have looked compared to this, when Clint stepped on Natasha's foot. It must have been accidental, not even Clint was stupid enough to do that on purpose. There was a tense moment in which Clint seemed to be contemplating death, before Natasha just laughed wildly and stomped on Clint's foot harder, before they took off again, spinning across the floor.

Crisis averted, Steve looked for the twins.

He saw Wanda first, alone and glowering at someone in the distance. By following the direction of the glower, Steve found Pietro, who was managing to chat up about five girls at once. He said something and they all dissolved into giggles.

Shaking his head, Steve stood by Wanda and murmured, "It's the accent, isn't it?"

"Stupid brother," Wanda replied, but she was smiling slightly.

"Are you enjoying your first party?"

"It's definitely...something."

"What a life!" Pietro came up behind them. Steve jumped, but Wanda was obviously used to this because she merely flapped a hand, not even trying to hit Pietro as by this point he was already back with his adoring fans.

"Why are you here all alone?"

"Pietro scares off everyone who comes close."

"Pietro? Scary?"

"You'd be surprised," Wanda sighed.

"Well, I know someone he can't scare off. And, considering he's been staring at you all night, this might be worth a try." Steve beckoned to Sam, who had been watching Wanda, at least for much of their conversation. He strutted over, visibly preening as he introduced himself and immediately began flirting unashamedly. Pietro looked over, and frowned, but Steve winked and nodded at him, so he shrugged and left Falcon to it.

Steve flopped bodily onto the sofa, wondering how it could be so hard to control less than ten people. At least Peter wasn't doing anything stupid, probably snogging his girlfriend on the roof. 

"Humans can be stupid, can they not?" Came a British accent from beside him, and Steve turned to see Vision watching the night's events with amusement.

"Yeah, they -" hearing shouts of 'down it!' from somewhere else in the room, he got up to investigate.

Clint was playing a drinking game with Pietro. As Steve watched, Natasha pushed her way through the crowd and sat down with them, pouring herself a drink.

About 17 drinks later, Natasha was barely swaying, Pietro was grinning to widely to be entirely sober, and Clint was smashed. Suddenly, he jabbed a finger in Pietro's general direction, consequently nearly hitting Natasha, and slurred, "Fuck you. Fuck you and your fucking metabolism, there's no fucking way I can win." How it had taken Clint this many drinks to remember the whole reason Pietro was there was beyond everyone, but Pietro just smirked and winked at someone behind Steve. The only person Steve could see behind him was Tony, but whether he was blinkered by his crush or Pietro was just drunk enough to make a pass on anything that moved, he didn't know.

Wanda looked up from where she was still talking to Sam, her cheeks flushed slightly, and glared at her brother. He didn't notice. Raising a hand, she sent a sparkle of red mist towards him before turning back to her scintillating conversation with Sam, cracking up laughing almost before he had finished whatever story he was telling. 

Much as he enjoyed watching two of his best friends hitting it off, Steve had more important things to attend to. Namely, whatever Wanda had done to Pietro. He leaned over, fully prepared to grab Pietro and hold him down if he started having a fit, but Pietro seemed fine. Just...slightly more drunk than usual. Wanda floated over to him quickly, and muttered, "He was getting too cocky. They'll think he's drunk. Sam says thanks," and then she was back with Sam, like not conversing with him for more than a minute would be detrimental to her health. Steve began to regret the entire party, and made his way to where Thor was booming at someone, looking for mead.

 

By the time the party ended, pretty much everyone was on the floor. Parker had come down at some point, seen the mess, and decided to stay with his girlfriend (a wise decision, Tony had muttered). Pietro had at some point become fully drunk, and he and Clint were in a heap on the floor, soon joined by Thor, yelling 'puppy pile!'. Natasha was lying elegantly on the sofa, joined by Wanda, asleep on Sam. Tony had fallen asleep on Steve, who was trying hard not to think about what that may mean, and grinning widely when he thought about it anyway. Coulson had snuck off into the night, presumably to praise the lord that no-one was dead or seriously injured. Steve was just slipping off into sleep when he heard footsteps, and someone saying, "What happened here?" He blinked blearily and looked up to see Bucky staring at them in confusion, with Bruce behind him shrugging and trying to stifle his laughter. Steve shrugged too, and fell asleep before he could even think about raising everyone to go to their proper beds.

 

When Tony woke up, light was streaming in, and he was quite comfortable. Both points confused him, the first because he had curtains in his bedroom, and the second because he didn't remember actually making it to his bedroom, which meant he fell asleep on the floor, which was not comfortable. He glanced down at his pillow, and realised that it was moving. For a second he contemplated leaping up in surprise, but his head hurt too much for that, so he figured that it was the thought that counts. He did look up slightly, saw Steve's sleeping face, lips parted slightly, hot even in sleep, and fell back to sleep blushing.

Fury walked in on the whole of the Avengers team sleeping in one large pile, shook his head, and said, "you're going to need to get better at your team-building exercises." 

Tony figured that they could look forward to a lot more of them in the future, and, once more, contemplated burning down the tower.

**Author's Note:**

> Seeing as I'm planning on doing a lot more of these, if anybody wants to give me any suggestions for anything the Avengers could do, I'll do them. As you've seen, I produce these really fast, and have no problem with ridiculous scenarios, so literally anything you want is fine by me, just comment or email me kitty122011@hotmail.co.uk


End file.
